New Adventure

My life is taking on a new adventure I have started my very own website, I have many friends at the CSL site and I hope that they will also follow me on this site as well but i felt it was time for me to go out on my own and do something that i perhaps was fearful of doing before I think i was afraid of failing at it before I even got started so i put it off for a few months and then last night I said to myself Terry you not only need to do this but you want to do this.

It has nothing to do with the CSL website in fact if anything being on that site has made me take a hard look at myself and has made me even more determined to do something risky although I have never written a book I do have a journal which I might make public someday but for now I am getting my feet wet and this website was just what i needed.

Thinking Positive

Everyone of us has in our lifetime thought negative thoughts about something or someone, I myself have found that in the past few months that I do certain things that actually help me divert my negative thoughts into positive ones. I make sure that every day I wake up with the outlook that I am alive, I don't have to do all things in one day I can and do spread them out over the week or month depending on what it is I need to do, and to help me get through the hard days is to light a new candle in each room to bring out my positive thought the flame and scent help to iliminate the negative thoughts going through my head and only push the positive ones to the front of the line so I can focus on those instead.

Stress, Anxiety, Anger, Irritablity, being Upset, unfocused, irrational, bored, and depressed can bring out so many negative thoughts that it may be hard to dig and seek out the positive ones but you have to try and get those Positive ones out into the open in order to feel yourself feel better.

I also noticed that eating healthy also helps with positive thoughts, I'm not saying be a vegan but eating more fresh fruit and fresh vegetables, and cutting out junk food can also contribute to thinking positive.

Fantastic Friday

Well it didn't start out this way but I know I will turn it into a Fantastic Friday...with the weekend soon here and Labor right around the corner I have a lot of stuff I need to do in order to make it a great Labor day..

I have baking to do this today and this weekend, the house has been cleaned and it looks marvelous, the weather outside is nice and cool so it might just be a great day for me.

 My mom has a treadmill in her basement that I am going to have brought over here and put in the spare room and I am going to be using that to do my daily walking to help get my self back in shape and to get myself more fit and start living a more healthy lifestyle.

What I love about my life

I love that I have been able to and I will always be able to talk to my sons, There are times when we all get on each others nerves but I never fail to tell them how proud I am of them and what they have accomplished with their live.

It's always a nice surprise when Joe calls me or texts me about what is going on in Texas with him and when he is going somewhere exciting which is why he joined the Army he is currently going to Vegas this weekend with a couple of his brothers to have some fun.

Stephen is doing what he usually does and just getting by, after all he is only 19 he has a long way to go before he fully understands the implications of his actions.

Me & Mike are getting along quite well we are talking more, joking more, enjoying each others company we take the time in the evening after the work day is over and we just sit and relax I sit or lay on the swing and just sway back and forth and just be thankful about what I have and love about my life.

We have a few friends that we talk to on occasion and we have a few that we go out to eat with on occasion as well but for the most part we just sit and enjoy time with each other, It's funny when I think about it because for the longest time I didn't want to spend time with him I wanted to be so far away from him but as time goes on and our lives change daily I find that I do want to spend time with him and I do enjoy it.

We play golf, or table tennis, on the Wii, and my mother is giving us the tread mill and the weight bench so I can build myself up again and start to get my weight stabilized I would like to be able to walk around the block without being so tired after wards.

I love that I am alive every day to see the beautiful blue sky, hear the birds, and see the squirrels run across the phone wires, play with the dogs and just smile and love my life.

I have also been lighting candles through out the house and it has been so relaxing for me to walk into a room and have a candle burning. It really hits the senses and makes me feel so good inside and that gives me positive energy and that I need a lot of.

Songs & Candles Soothe the mind

Songs make me happy and I love to dance to songs and sing out loud to them, They make me feel Alive and they also reduce the stress in my life,

When I have a candle burning next to the stereo the flame seems like it takes on the characteristics of the song it flickers to the beat of the music.

I'm the type of person that has 2 different radios on or different CD's in each radio set to different songs to set the moods in each room, that way it also gets my mind really working to keep up with what is going on and it makes me concentrate more on what i'm doing that how i am feeling and that is important.

Share with me what makes you take your mind off your daily stress.

Living within your means

Meaning of course Living within what you can afford and not afford to do or buy, It's difficult to change your spending habits when your accustomed to being able to go out and just buy and not worry about what your spending or what you have spent, I know what that is like first hand just like i'm sure there are many others out there who are in the same situation were all trying to budget on a smaller budget than we had before we lost our jobs (due to lay offs, medical reasons or whatever the case may be), Having a smaller check is very stressful, most people can or are able to find another job but most aren't for those that aren't it can be a major strain on you and your relationship.

There are a lot of things that I have had to cut back on, and there are things you can't cut back on it's one of the tricks that they taught a group of us that went and had filed for the "B" word, they taught us in the group that you have to figure out what a need is versus a want and also if you need it and can't afford it that particular month then you will have to wait until the next month, and also if you can pay cash instead of using credit your better off too.

I'd like to hear about how you had to change your means of living when you lost your job, got sick, or whatever it was that happened. Maybe you can share your ideas and maybe we can see if that works for us as well.

Accepting Your Limitations

I have for the longest time always gone above and beyond what I felt I was capable of doing...If we were having a party I would clean the house until it was spotless, I'd make the deserts a day ahead of time, I'd start making the food early the morning of the party, I'd get the tables, chairs, baskets for the food, the trays, etc... ready early so I didn't have to rush too much once everyone got here. I actually enjoyed the hustle and bustle it gave me a major rush and I had a ton of energy and I looked forward to seeing everyone and just seeing the look on everyone's face was all I needed .

It seemed only right to throw a party on any occasion and have the family and or friends over to help celebrate with us, no one expected to see so much food prepared or laid out ready to snack on but it was there they would even offer to help with the preparation if everything wasn't done yet. I pretty much had no limits as to what I could or would do.

Even when Mike & I worked together on the road I was always running into the buildings weaving my way in and around people to get to a certain place and pick up or drop off a package, I would take the steps 2 at a time I was very fit during that time in my life I had a strategic way of getting out of the truck even before it had stopped (which it never did) but I had my feet firmly planted on the ground and was off running.

Now over the past 2 1/2 years a lot has changed just like it changes for everyone only for different reasons, we all have had to change our habits or our way of doing certain things, what we once could do without sitting and resting we might now have to rest after a short period of time or we might have to force ourselves to sit and relax for a short period of time, and that is even if we don't have any type of disease or illness.

Accepting my limitations was and still is very hard for me to do as I'm sure it is for everyone but for me it is extremely hard, I don't want to face the fact sometimes that I can't do it all and that I can't be everything to everyone I have to learn to let others do things for me or just take a little longer to do something if no one else is around to help me.

I have accepted the fact that I have Cancer! But I'm not sure if I can ever accept that I need to limit my activities both physically and mentally, I have watched Mike go from being able to walk without help to needing to walk with assistance, I have watched him go from being able to stand in the shower to now have to sit because of a fall he took many years back which has left him permanently in a chair forced to move backwards or to sit in his mobility unit and answer phones and take orders,and my mother has had to make  changes in her  habits and physical limits as well I have watched her go from walking and working and driving to not being able to do any of those things anymore all due to a leg removal and now she is also in a wheelchair, although neither of them are housebound they both have had to accept their limitations as well
and I have slowly started to follow suit but I know in my heart and in my head that if I don't fully accept my limits and rest when needed I will drain what ever is left in me and I won't be any good to anyone including myself.