In my neighborhood specifically on my little corner of the street 3 of my neighbors and I share a common interest we all 4 have cancer all of us have different types but we all have it just the same, Me & my neighbor across the street have started talking more and more lately we get along real well he made the comment to me today that we understand each other and when you sit down and you think about it we do. We fully understand each other and what we have gone through I have said it before only someone who has gone through pretty much the same thing that you have gone through can fully understand the pain, agony, the good days and the bad days that we have.
My B/F understands to a point but that is it, because he isn't going through the same things I am he does have some of the same pains that i have because of his MD but after that he can't understand the other non Dystrophy related pains that i have. Even my mother whom I have gotten closer too since all this has happened doesn't completely understand what I'm going through.
But when were lucky enough to find someone who is going through this or who has gone through this we tend to latch on to them like flies to honey and we just share and share away because it's what we do and if you can't share your troubles with someone who knows what your troubles are caused from then who can you share them with, it sure is better than keeping them bottled up inside.
About Me
- terry
- Euclid, Ohio, United States
- My name is Terry I am a stage 3C OC survivor aside from having other blog posts I wanted to add the Military Families in Ohio becuase I also have a son in the Army and I want to Invite other Military Families in Ohio to join me on this blog and share your experiences with me and the other families in hopes that we can support each other.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Living with Fear
I have had since i was little a huge fear of planes, there was a point in time that i didn't even want to go into the hanger if there was a plane in side, I had this wild imagination that the plane would suddenly start and it would just take off.
There came a time when I worked with Mike that we had to make a delivery into the hanger and of course there was a plane inside, empty of course but my fear overtook me and as i entered the room I had to put myself up against the wall and walk sideways until i was in the clear and then I had to battle the steps. Now under normal circumstances steps didn't bother me but these were old wooden ones and they were narrow so of course i felt i was going to fall through and die, did i ever get over that fear? No i didn't and that is just one of many fears i have and i have yet to over come.
My fear of dying however i have overcome having Cancer has given me a whole new outlook I used to tell myself that i was invincible that nothing bad was ever going to happen to me but in 2008 that changed when I got the DX of Cancer and the Stage that i was in i would read everything that I could get my hands on and I would print it out I was getting myself so worked up that it wasn't funny, finally I had to stop doing that and I had to put my fate in Gods hands. Now I do know that I'm going to die but as far as I am concerned it will not be because of Cancer.
There came a time when I worked with Mike that we had to make a delivery into the hanger and of course there was a plane inside, empty of course but my fear overtook me and as i entered the room I had to put myself up against the wall and walk sideways until i was in the clear and then I had to battle the steps. Now under normal circumstances steps didn't bother me but these were old wooden ones and they were narrow so of course i felt i was going to fall through and die, did i ever get over that fear? No i didn't and that is just one of many fears i have and i have yet to over come.
My fear of dying however i have overcome having Cancer has given me a whole new outlook I used to tell myself that i was invincible that nothing bad was ever going to happen to me but in 2008 that changed when I got the DX of Cancer and the Stage that i was in i would read everything that I could get my hands on and I would print it out I was getting myself so worked up that it wasn't funny, finally I had to stop doing that and I had to put my fate in Gods hands. Now I do know that I'm going to die but as far as I am concerned it will not be because of Cancer.
Reflecting back on your life
It is always good to take a look back in time and remember the good and bad and just reflect on how far we have come with our lives, what we have said, done, conquered and what we have learned from our past.
Sometimes reflecting makes us smile and sometimes it makes us cry but the fact that we can reflect upon the past is good for the sole.
Maybe it was the old corner store, or the old album that we once danced too that is no longer around, or it's a song that you suddenly remember and haven't heard in a long time those kinds of things always put a smile on our faces and make us feel better inside and when we share those thoughts we find that there are others out there who have had similar reflections in their past and they want to share those with us.
Sometimes reflecting makes us smile and sometimes it makes us cry but the fact that we can reflect upon the past is good for the sole.
Maybe it was the old corner store, or the old album that we once danced too that is no longer around, or it's a song that you suddenly remember and haven't heard in a long time those kinds of things always put a smile on our faces and make us feel better inside and when we share those thoughts we find that there are others out there who have had similar reflections in their past and they want to share those with us.
Living With a Positive Frame of Mind
It at times can be very difficult to have or keep ourselves in a Positive Frame of Mind with everything that we are going through on a daily basis with our lives, But keeping ourselves in a PFOM is essential otherwise all the negativity will bring us down and cause other problems that we don't need or want.
There are some way to stay in a PFOM like going out and doing work in the garden, going for walks, talking to a friend, doing something constructive really keeps the mind from thinking negative thoughts and having negative actions.
There are some way to stay in a PFOM like going out and doing work in the garden, going for walks, talking to a friend, doing something constructive really keeps the mind from thinking negative thoughts and having negative actions.
Living in the Normal way
People who don't have any type of disease or illness don't seem to understand that when someone does have a disease or illness their life is never going to be "Normal" again...and even if they live with someone who has a disease or illness unless that person has it themselves they as well do not get what the word "Normal" means to us.
Normal living BC, was I think in my opinion a lot easier than it is now I could do so many things and while doing them or after being done with them didn't cause me any problems, going for walks with the dogs around the block, going up steps, parking in the back of the parking lot and walking to the store and then all through the store, picking up items around the house, carrying laundry, doing dishes, working in the garden, unpacking the car after going shopping...these are just some of the things that change for some people when they get Cancer or any disease that slows them down, they can and do get back up to speed but their life is never the same "Normal" that it was before, they get tired out more easily, and if their just starting chemo or if they are already way into the treatment or if they are just finishing the treatment they have a long road ahead of them to "Normal", this I know from experience I was well on my way back to "normal" when i got hit with a brick that the fluid to make the tumors was present I had surgery again to have a mediport put in and now I go to the Dr. every 2 months, I go for a port flush every month and during the same week i see the dr. i go in for bloodwork 2 days before. when i am at home it is a struggle to go up the steps, its a struggle to keep up with the laundry, house work, the cleaning of the flower beds. etc.....And I am reminded every day that I have cancer i just have to look down on my left breast and there it is the port. I don't even have to look down when i rub my breast or do my breast exam for breast cancer i feel the port..But with all the negative in my life I for myself try to make Living my life as normal as possible I just take my time doing what i have to do and i rest or nap when i am tired....When I go to the Store I park in the handicapped spot for I have a Handicapped plaque, otherwise I am out of breathe before I even get to the door, I have a hard time holding things and when i'm lucky enough not to break a dish (because it slipped out of my hands), or drop a bottle, or when I am able to type on the computer that is when I really love my life
and when i get the energy i do take the dogs for a walk around the block...or maybe its that they take me for a walk around the block I love my life then too.
Normal living BC, was I think in my opinion a lot easier than it is now I could do so many things and while doing them or after being done with them didn't cause me any problems, going for walks with the dogs around the block, going up steps, parking in the back of the parking lot and walking to the store and then all through the store, picking up items around the house, carrying laundry, doing dishes, working in the garden, unpacking the car after going shopping...these are just some of the things that change for some people when they get Cancer or any disease that slows them down, they can and do get back up to speed but their life is never the same "Normal" that it was before, they get tired out more easily, and if their just starting chemo or if they are already way into the treatment or if they are just finishing the treatment they have a long road ahead of them to "Normal", this I know from experience I was well on my way back to "normal" when i got hit with a brick that the fluid to make the tumors was present I had surgery again to have a mediport put in and now I go to the Dr. every 2 months, I go for a port flush every month and during the same week i see the dr. i go in for bloodwork 2 days before. when i am at home it is a struggle to go up the steps, its a struggle to keep up with the laundry, house work, the cleaning of the flower beds. etc.....And I am reminded every day that I have cancer i just have to look down on my left breast and there it is the port. I don't even have to look down when i rub my breast or do my breast exam for breast cancer i feel the port..But with all the negative in my life I for myself try to make Living my life as normal as possible I just take my time doing what i have to do and i rest or nap when i am tired....When I go to the Store I park in the handicapped spot for I have a Handicapped plaque, otherwise I am out of breathe before I even get to the door, I have a hard time holding things and when i'm lucky enough not to break a dish (because it slipped out of my hands), or drop a bottle, or when I am able to type on the computer that is when I really love my life
and when i get the energy i do take the dogs for a walk around the block...or maybe its that they take me for a walk around the block I love my life then too.
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