Living with Fear

I have had since i was little a huge fear of planes, there was a point in time that i didn't even want to go into the hanger if there was a plane in side, I had this wild imagination that the plane would suddenly start and it would just take off.

There came a time when I worked with Mike that we had to make a delivery into the hanger and of course there was a plane inside, empty of course but my fear overtook me and as i entered the room I had to put myself up against the wall and walk sideways until i was in the clear and then I had to battle the steps. Now under normal circumstances steps didn't bother me but these were old wooden ones and they were narrow so of course i felt i was going to fall through and die, did i ever get over that fear? No i didn't and that is just one of many fears i have and i have yet to over come.

My fear of dying however i have overcome having Cancer has given me a whole new outlook I used to tell myself that i was invincible that nothing bad was ever going to happen to me but in 2008 that changed when I got the DX of Cancer and the Stage that i was in i would read everything that I could get my hands on and I would print it out I was getting myself so worked up that it wasn't funny, finally I had to stop doing that and I had to put my fate in Gods hands. Now I do know that I'm going to die but as far as I am concerned it will not be because of Cancer.