Accepting Your Limitations

I have for the longest time always gone above and beyond what I felt I was capable of doing...If we were having a party I would clean the house until it was spotless, I'd make the deserts a day ahead of time, I'd start making the food early the morning of the party, I'd get the tables, chairs, baskets for the food, the trays, etc... ready early so I didn't have to rush too much once everyone got here. I actually enjoyed the hustle and bustle it gave me a major rush and I had a ton of energy and I looked forward to seeing everyone and just seeing the look on everyone's face was all I needed .

It seemed only right to throw a party on any occasion and have the family and or friends over to help celebrate with us, no one expected to see so much food prepared or laid out ready to snack on but it was there they would even offer to help with the preparation if everything wasn't done yet. I pretty much had no limits as to what I could or would do.

Even when Mike & I worked together on the road I was always running into the buildings weaving my way in and around people to get to a certain place and pick up or drop off a package, I would take the steps 2 at a time I was very fit during that time in my life I had a strategic way of getting out of the truck even before it had stopped (which it never did) but I had my feet firmly planted on the ground and was off running.

Now over the past 2 1/2 years a lot has changed just like it changes for everyone only for different reasons, we all have had to change our habits or our way of doing certain things, what we once could do without sitting and resting we might now have to rest after a short period of time or we might have to force ourselves to sit and relax for a short period of time, and that is even if we don't have any type of disease or illness.

Accepting my limitations was and still is very hard for me to do as I'm sure it is for everyone but for me it is extremely hard, I don't want to face the fact sometimes that I can't do it all and that I can't be everything to everyone I have to learn to let others do things for me or just take a little longer to do something if no one else is around to help me.

I have accepted the fact that I have Cancer! But I'm not sure if I can ever accept that I need to limit my activities both physically and mentally, I have watched Mike go from being able to walk without help to needing to walk with assistance, I have watched him go from being able to stand in the shower to now have to sit because of a fall he took many years back which has left him permanently in a chair forced to move backwards or to sit in his mobility unit and answer phones and take orders,and my mother has had to make  changes in her  habits and physical limits as well I have watched her go from walking and working and driving to not being able to do any of those things anymore all due to a leg removal and now she is also in a wheelchair, although neither of them are housebound they both have had to accept their limitations as well
and I have slowly started to follow suit but I know in my heart and in my head that if I don't fully accept my limits and rest when needed I will drain what ever is left in me and I won't be any good to anyone including myself.